so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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