We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
