Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
