did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
