I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
