he puts the penis in happiness.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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