You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
