Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
