It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
