dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
