Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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(518): View more from New York

i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.

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(513): View more from Ohio

sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does

(513): View more from Ohio

i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play

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(319): View more from Iowa

So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."

(319): View more from Iowa

Decisions, decisions.

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(801): View more from Utah

I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk

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(334): View more from Alabama

alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos

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(809): View more from Caribbean Islands

somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying

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