So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
