I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
