I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
