if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
