If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
