I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
