Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
