That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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