I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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