So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
