You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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