at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
it was like eating out sand paper
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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