My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize