She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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