from now on my penis is your penis
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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