She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize