totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Everclear isn't food dammit
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