i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
