I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
