Everything about him screamed your future.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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