if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize