Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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