I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
