it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
