Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
