will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize