like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think your dad took our porno
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
