you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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