Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
