hotel room ftw
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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