is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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