I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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