If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
