My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
