Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
