Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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