I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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