It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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