Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize