Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
