UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
