Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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