He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
