would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
